Wednesday, July 7, 2010

A dummies guide to hookers

Somebody really needs to put together a 'Dummies Guide to Hookers in Vegas' for the Irish. Every year out here you hear three or four stories of Irish poker players being fleeced while pissed.

There's been a huge amount of strokes pulled by these 'ladies of the night' but the stories generally fall into three categories. The simplistic pocket dipping in a strip club. The basic robbery in the hotel room and a few times I've heard of the more sinister modus where lads thinking they've pull while at a strip or night club and waking the following day realising they've been spiked with a sedative and totally fleeced.

I did hear a pretty funny one this year. One of the more senior members of the Irish crew procured the services of one of these lovely girls in the aptly named hooker bar in the Rio and they both retired to his room.

Monies changed hands and the Brazzer- we'll call her lolly for the sake of the story - asks can she take a shower to prepare herself. Mick (oops didn't mean to name him) is waiting patiently on the bed reassured that his needs will soon be catered for, listening to the shower running in the background.

After about ten minutes, he calls for Lolly and when there's no reply he checks out the bathroom to find it empty and realises she's done a legger with the $400 he's given her. Not being one to be taken for a sucker, our hero dresses quickly and hurries back to the casino floor where he quickly spots Lolly working on another trick.

Mick creates a bit of a scene and is about to call over security. Lolly pleads with him not to and quickly hands him a bunch of notes, his refund she calls it.

Twenty minutes later when Mick is relaxing in his room, there's a knock on the door. When he opens it he's quiet surprised to see it's Lolly. She tells him that she's actually just give him $600, instead of the $400 she meant to and could she have the $200 extra back. Only in Vegas!